Surrender

The most important thing to know about catching a Vision for one's life is that the externalization of it is secondary to It's internalized embodiment. Thus, as this Vision for Holy Temple continues to impress itself in my awareness, I recognize there is no way for there to be an external temple if I myself am not a Holy Temple.

Ramana Maharshi - who lived during Gandh's time in India, and was also a contemporary of Paramahansa Yogadanda and Sri Aurobindo - says that surrendering one's life to God comes in parts, that most people aren't able to give their entire beings over all at once, for good. That is true for me, most certainly. I have been living a life surrendered to the Infinite for most of my adult life, yet there have been definite moments where I went to the next level in what that surrender looked like.

One moment in particular stands out in 1991, a particularly difficult time in my life, and I just gave it all over to God. However, that being too abstract, I prayed to Jesus The Christ, asking for a way to anchor the intention of God first in my life on a daily basis. I was visiting my brother Dan and his wife Carolyn and their 2 month old daughter, Genevieve in Boston. I sat in the back of Old South Church the day after Christmas, praying for help. Between that time and New Year's Eve, I was given 3 practices to do every day to anchor my intention for God first in my life - they were (and are) meditation, exercise and journaling every day. These 3 practices were more important than anything else every day, school, work, relationship, emotions, tiredness, business, it didn't matter, I was to do them every day as my way of saying, God is first in my life. I no longer worried about how to resolve the incredible challenge I was in, I just focused on making sure that I did those 3 practices every day.

I also lived forgiveness. If I missed a day, or a few days, I didn't freak out, I just accepted forgiveness (with little to no reproachment) and continued on in my practices. Suddenly, without me even aware of it, the seeming impossible knots loosened up and my life began to shift in ways I could never imagine. I didn't lose all the challenges, but I wasn't focused on them anymore, so I was able to handle them from a completely different perspective and walked in the Presence enough that friends began to comment on how different I was. Wasn't it Einstein that said insanity was trying to solve problems from the same place (perspective) from which they were created?

I share that because this is the next step for me, for me to become that Holy Temple is to surrender more than I've ever surrendered before. What is being asked of me is to surrender even more of myself than I have in the past. However, I find I am more harsh on myself than I was way back in 1991, I guess because my expectations of myself are higher. If I'm not perfect in my intention, I rebuke myself and that judgment is part of the "impossible" knot that keeps me all twisted up.

Thus, as I jump with all my Being in full surrender to Spirit, I jump with a soft and forgiving heart for those times when I'm not surrendered, when I lose focus and intention. I know that it is this forgiveness that allows me to return to Heaven that much more quickly.


Oh and...for anyone reading this, thank you for joining me on this journey...it's a blessing to walk with you. Though you may be invisible to me, I know in God we walk, and thus we share a sacred connection that is blessed by Grace. Thank you, thank you, and so it is, Amen.