Thursday, December 24, 2009

I AM Love

It is no accident that though in Christian theology Easter is considered the most important holiday, in life, it is Christmas that receives the biggest celebration. Christmas, not coincidentally, comes during the pagan holiday of winter solstice, celebrating the Light in the darkness. Whereas Easter represents Jesus transcending this world, Christmas is when Jesus is born to live and walk among us in the world. His Light shone long before the transcendent experience of Easter. Thus, this little baby represents the possibility for all of us, that in the midst of our mortal, limited lives, we can also live God's glory here on earth. Baby Jesus reminds us that nothing needs to be added, that the pure, naked simplicity of I Am is the alpha and omega, the all in all.

It was during this Christmas season that my journey with my Beloved Jesus The Christ became the most important thing in my life. I loved the stories of Jesus I learned in church, mostly that He loved everyone and everything, and did not judge anyone. My Mom raised me to believe that Jesus was the greatest living human, though she was unsure about all the miracles and other -worldly stuff. So Jesus was a hero for me, someone I could aspire to be like, as he was human...just the most loving human that had ever lived.

It is in this context that one Christmas, when I was in elementary school, I turned off all the lights in the downstairs area of our house (except in the kitchen where my Mom was making dinner). I turned on the Christmas tree lights and the one orange electric candle that stood on our upright piano. I put a Christmas album on my Dad's phonograph and I danced around the living room to the holy songs praising Baby Jesus. When Away in the Manger started playing, I pretended the manger with Jesus was right there in the middle of the living room and I danced around it. As I danced, I loved with my whole heart and being this Baby Jesus, and I also felt and allowed in, His vast, unconditional love for me...I stopped dancing and just stood there loving and being loved...and suddenly, this place where I had been imagining Baby Jesus became full of Light. This Light raised up and moved toward me, though it had no personification, it was simply Love. And this Love merged with me, and I was It and It was me and all of life. It encompassed everything. I am aware of my Mom in the kitchen being in the Light too, there were no walls, and the Light was far beyond anything I could "see".

This Love was beyond, beyond, beyond any love I thought I had known before this. I loved and adored my family, and yet I was struck by how small this love was compared to God's Love.

I don't know how long the experience was, maybe just for a moment, maybe longer. I just know from that moment on, my life was God's. I didn't know what that meant, but I knew everything paled in comparison to that Love, and that my life was committed to It, through Jesus The Christ, forever.

Baby Jesus in a manger, not even the man who became a Master Teacher, but a baby, innocent, no -thing added, simple, pure I Am Love - from which all life is birthed and which all life returns - this is Christmas to me and ever shall be.

Merry Christmas my beloveds!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

A Rant

Okay I love that in our New Thought centers we learn from and honor all the major world traditions. What I do not appreciate is that in so many New Thought centers, in honoring the worlds religions, we've lost Christianity. Well, not lost it, but don't really allow ourselves to jump into it fully without fearing to offend someone.

Today in Children's Church they learned about Diwali - a Hindu Festival Lights that this year was celebrated in October. Next week is Chanukkah, and the following week is Kwanzaa (which is generally after Christmas, not before). I asked were they going to do Christmas? The answer? They did last week...

Julian was there last week, he heard one story about Jesus, colored a picture of Advent Candles...that was Christmas. Is this insane? The 2 main religious holidays this time of year are Christmas and Chanukkah, why not fully celebrate them? Why not really give ourselves to the judeo-christian religious teaching and allow our children to experience the stories fully...along with so much of the culture around them?

So I have to go find another church at this time of year for Julian to really get a feel for Christmas - my religious/spiritual roots - because I can't find it in the church of everything.

Then New Thought folks wonder why we have such a hard time with our children's programs...we teach abstract, metaphysical concepts that the human brain is not programmed to understand until around 11 or 12 years old...we pay little attention to the magnificent mythical and historical roots of these metaphysical principles...which is exactly the part that kids love.

On the way to church one day, Julian was asking who David was from the Christmas carol lines, "Once in royal David's city" I told him the story of David and Goliath....he then had me tell him the story 2 more times that day...he told it to his class the following week, then asked me to tell it to him again...

In embracing everything, we can lose so much.

Oh an article in the Washington Post about the guy who headed up the bail out who is now detoxing from D.C....I understand that. Even as I read the article, I was reminded of the characters in War and many underlying motivations, ambitions, fears, desires...all being played out via a wide variety of personalities. Really, nothing is new...

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Day 21

I think what amazes me the most about this spiritual journey I am on is how extraordinarily kind, interesting, energetic, deep and passionate the people are I meet along the way. As I sit here today, I reflect on all the people I have connected with this past week, and I love every one of them. Talk about Abundance, I am in the overflow of great people all the time, in every area of my life, for that I am eternally grateful.

Another really important piece for me in creating a Holy Temple is having a husband who is right there with me, walking the path side by side with me. We are both committed to healing within ourselves that which needs to be healed, so we can individually and collectively be as great a transparency of Light as possible. There are blocks to work through, but where 2 or more are gathered, there is a power that cannot be contained.

And sweet Julian, the most powerful inspiration I could have, to wake up, to heal, to surrender, to participate, to Be.

Oh and...the Christmas I love this time of the year...and have noticed that being in a transdenominational community, I have often felt embarrassed by this seemingly ethnocentric love for Christmas. Not now, today I make no apologies for my love of Jesus The Christ and my love of this time of year that celebrates Light in so many ways, but for me it is especially the Christ in Christmas that resonates in my Soul.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Day 20

Texting, facebook, twitter, emails, phone calls, from all directions people reach out. I don't know about you, but I love hearing from everyone...and days go by and suddenly I realize I've never responded, then bums me out, because I'd love to talk, write everyone and connect with everyone with as much depth as possible...but there isn't time. So it's either superficial, quick connection, which I really dislike, or take the time, more time than I have, to write, talk longer being fully present to the other person.

How this all fits into being a Holy Temple I'm not sure...I haven't found the flow yet...have you?

Oh and...I'm loving War and of the main characters almost dies, and then"wakes up" to Reality, sees Napoleon standing over him and realizes how small and insignificant he really is. What Joy! May we all know directly and immediately how glorious and vast this Presence is, way beyond any one human life, and yet fully and completely animating each and every atom and cell of all creation. AWESOME!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Day 19

Beautiful day! Julian and I were out all afternoon, didn't get home to dinner and now it's time to put him to bed.

If I do have anything to say, I can't think of it right now...

Oh and...if your child grew up to be a professional footplayer, with all the injuries, would you be happy for them?

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Day 18

What a day! Lots of tears, LOTS of tears...then the rainbow. Nothing better than to cry into the arms of the Infinite, there is always a rainbow that reveals itself in the midst.

I am grateful for this Vision and I am the unconditional YES, reaffirming itself every day in my body, heart, mind and Soul (as my friend Terry Patten blogged about today - whether things are positive or negative, what can we give our unconditional yes to?).

Oh today at the baseball center, only 3% of players drafted in baseball, make it to a major league!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Integral Spirituality

For those of you who don't know, there is a theory articulated by Ken Wilber called integral theory. It is a map that connects all theories, all disciplines, all cultures, all types of everything. It's incredibly elucidating for anyone who has the time to learn it. You can start at and follow pertinent links.

I bring this all up because we are in the season of magic for young children, and I write primarily about those raised in the Christian tradition, since that is what I know. Though I have lit the Chanukah's candles at my transdemoninational spiritual center, it's not the same as being raised in that religion (though I did go to a Jewish Montessori that taught Hebrew and celebrated the Jewish holidays).

Right now Julian is thinking about Santa Claus and elves, as well as his superheroes. Now it could be said, and has been said, that to engage in this magical world of Santa Claus with him is not treating him rationally, it's a form lying to a child.

However, what I now see that is a perspective derived entirely from a rational worldview, that discounts other worldviews.

What developmentists are now saying is that each stage a child goes through - including magic, then mythic - has to be experienced and integrated fully before going on to the next stage of development. If not, parts of the child gets split off, disassociated from, and will be stumbling blocks for the person for the rest of their life. In other words, no stage can be skipped.

Thus, it is actually my responsibility as a parent to engage in magical thinking with my child, make it okay, playful, something to be embraced. Then one day he naturally start asking questions, and the shift to the mythic stage of development begins to happen, then it is my responsibility to meet him there.

All of this is on my mind as President Obama commits more troops to Afghanistan. I'm not as upset about this as I used to be. Generally speaking it is people at the mythic stage of development, and some rational stage, that fight these wars...and since 70% of the world is still ethnocentric (mythic or below), these wars will still be needed - as ugly as they are.

As I read War and Peace, the joy, the passion, the total commitment of the men of Russia to serve in the military, to fight Napoleon (and aren't we glad they did?) is experienced as honor, not as a horror. The horror that we now know go with war as experienced on TV, is a stage of development, a perspective, that most of the world's population (including my son) don't share. Even as Tolstoy and Hemingway fought in wars and then are horrified by them, they are not in the majority. So many men who have fought in wars feel the honor in doing so, and would do it again, if called by their country.

Just as I HAVE to meet Julian where he is (abstract rational thinking isn't possible in most kids until about 11 or 12), I recognize we have to meet the world where it is, on it's terms. We can still try negotiation - but how well does sitting down and have diplomatic conversations with a 5 yr. old work if they don't think you're going to back up your perspective with definitive action?

I open my heart to all the perspectives of this world, and in Julian, and ask to serve each in the Highest Vibration of Love and Wisdom as I am capable.

Oh and...had a great conversation today with a friend about professional sports and how only the select have the millions, that majority aren't getting paid that high...and yet the parental pressure to create brilliant athletes is unrelenting. I have been assuming it is the hope of the millions that is the motivation for these parents...but if that's not it, what is?