I AM Love

It is no accident that though in Christian theology Easter is considered the most important holiday, in life, it is Christmas that receives the biggest celebration. Christmas, not coincidentally, comes during the pagan holiday of winter solstice, celebrating the Light in the darkness. Whereas Easter represents Jesus transcending this world, Christmas is when Jesus is born to live and walk among us in the world. His Light shone long before the transcendent experience of Easter. Thus, this little baby represents the possibility for all of us, that in the midst of our mortal, limited lives, we can also live God's glory here on earth. Baby Jesus reminds us that nothing needs to be added, that the pure, naked simplicity of I Am is the alpha and omega, the all in all.

It was during this Christmas season that my journey with my Beloved Jesus The Christ became the most important thing in my life. I loved the stories of Jesus I learned in church, mostly that He loved everyone and everything, and did not judge anyone. My Mom raised me to believe that Jesus was the greatest living human, though she was unsure about all the miracles and other -worldly stuff. So Jesus was a hero for me, someone I could aspire to be like, as he was human...just the most loving human that had ever lived.

It is in this context that one Christmas, when I was in elementary school, I turned off all the lights in the downstairs area of our house (except in the kitchen where my Mom was making dinner). I turned on the Christmas tree lights and the one orange electric candle that stood on our upright piano. I put a Christmas album on my Dad's phonograph and I danced around the living room to the holy songs praising Baby Jesus. When Away in the Manger started playing, I pretended the manger with Jesus was right there in the middle of the living room and I danced around it. As I danced, I loved with my whole heart and being this Baby Jesus, and I also felt and allowed in, His vast, unconditional love for me...I stopped dancing and just stood there loving and being loved...and suddenly, this place where I had been imagining Baby Jesus became full of Light. This Light raised up and moved toward me, though it had no personification, it was simply Love. And this Love merged with me, and I was It and It was me and all of life. It encompassed everything. I am aware of my Mom in the kitchen being in the Light too, there were no walls, and the Light was far beyond anything I could "see".

This Love was beyond, beyond, beyond any love I thought I had known before this. I loved and adored my family, and yet I was struck by how small this love was compared to God's Love.

I don't know how long the experience was, maybe just for a moment, maybe longer. I just know from that moment on, my life was God's. I didn't know what that meant, but I knew everything paled in comparison to that Love, and that my life was committed to It, through Jesus The Christ, forever.

Baby Jesus in a manger, not even the man who became a Master Teacher, but a baby, innocent, no -thing added, simple, pure I Am Love - from which all life is birthed and which all life returns - this is Christmas to me and ever shall be.

Merry Christmas my beloveds!
Harriet